sweet serendipity

        So I just signed up for driving lessons at the USJ driving school and no, its not metro. I initially wanted to sign up for metro this morning so I woke up hella early this morning so my mum could send me because she said she has to leave for work by 11:00am. According to my sister's old brosure they said metro opens at 9:00am so ok we went there at 9:30. Turns out when we arrived belum bukak and when we called they said they only opened at 10:30 -_-. By then my mum dah frustrated sangat So we decided to go the USJ branch (well at least I thought was the USJ branch). So we waited around until about 10:20 then baru bukak.So we went in and talked with the person and talked prices and all, I thought, okay, reasonable enough I decided to roll with the punches and sign up since we were running out of time(knowing my registration will be further postponed if I don't get it done now). My mum paid and we went back to the car and drove home...... On the way back she started complaining about prices and compared Metro driving academy's price to this one and started talking about how far the main driving school is (it's in Puchong) to the point that I got really frustrated. I mean, if you already knew the price for metro academy and how it runs over there why didn't you tell that to me the first place? How am I suppose to know I have an unlimited amount of computer test trials over there? Yeah, so I got so frustrated to the point that I was ready to the car's dashboard but instead I drew tears out of my eyes (because I'm so bloody sensitive).My mum saw me and she was like "why are you crying?" So I told her, then she was like "oh, I just wanted you to learn to compare, you can't do this, you have to act like an adult now, you can't cry........" That made me even more frustrated and I just kept quiet.  We arrived home, I went to the toilet to wash my face and she left for work. So now I'm here venting out my anger and frustrations.
      I can't help for being such a prissy person and it sucks that I am. It can get really frustrating all the time because whatever worry or stress a normal person feels at the time, mine will be magnified 10 times worse. I sort of gravitate towards the stressful by the way because well, that's just how it is. I really just want all of my stupid paranoia and pressure to make everyone happy to just go away and not worry about much. The only way for me to fell happy or satisfied by something is by making others feel happy even though at times the things that I do for them isn't as agreeable. I'm just really hating on a bunch of people (including myself) right now so as to make myself feel a little better, I'm gonna go make myself some spicy ramen.............Gosh I'm really PMS-sy today, and it ain't even half the day yet.................

  

Welcome to the new age....

I'm currently rereading this book again just to fill in my time.  I remembered reading it masa form 3 & it kind of changed my perspective on a lot of things. I don't recommend it to everyone since it's sort of complicated in an enlightened sense but if you're all up for it, don't let me stop you! I'm still working on my personal statement and CV for the IB schools I would like to apply for and my lovely kitties are getting better everyday.  Just so you know, a few weeks back 2 of my kittens were sick and the vet told me that one of them has leukaemia and the other one might have blood parasites.  He gave me some meds for them and they seem to be alright! Yay! Alhamdulillah... I still haven't started any driving yet though. Other than that, I'm just lazing around with my laptop and phone doing derpy things on the internet. One thing I'm pretty excited for is The Host coming to theaters soon. The Host was written by Stephenie Meyer and it's actually a really good book. I read it during form 1 while waiting for Breaking Dawn to come out. It was really different compared to the twilight series and I highly recommend this. I guess that's it. I can't blog on my laptop since there's something up with my cookies(? ) or something. .. I'm bad with technology, I know.......

New phone!!!!

Got myself this sweet new phone. !!! Sorry for my bad photography skills. :/ I'm just so god damn excited!!!! Wweee! !! It's Samsung galaxy s3 in Garnett red. In other news, nothing else happened. I haven't started any driving lessons yet and I'm just sitting at home getting fat.....

calling out for a hero

yay! SPM dah habis! Alhamdulillah I survived it!
 I'm not that thrilled as I thought I was. All my additional skills and talents I've somehow was able to develop has vanished out of thin air. I mean, I've lost my ability to read novels, I forgot how to sketch with oil pastels, I even forgot some of the sign language I've learned these past few months. This is what spm does to you. It makes you become tired, dry and dull.I was so excited for it to end but then when the time came I didn't really have the mood to celebrate :( I didn't feel like doing anything. I'm looking around for some jobs but to be  honest, I don't really want to do any work right now. My mum said if I'm going to have to keep up with my constant random impulse book buying I better get a job. I bought JK Rowling's new book today (The Casual Vacancy) and the book was like 70 ringgit! I've been trying to contact up Mr. Nicholas (my school counselor) if I could work for him at his consulting center at Kelana Jaya but apparently he hasn't replied to any of my messages yet. Maybe I should call him tomorrow...... I really would like to take some classes though but sadly it costs money and I'm short of that right now.  I don't have a lot in my mind right now so I'm just gonna end it here. I'll probably post something about my spm papers later........

Banana Shit!!!!

    So today was officially my last day in school actually learning things. This coming monday dah SPM and my insides are ready to blow up. Seriously, I don't know what to feel anymore, I am stressed, yet very calm about this whole thing. It's ironic that the last class I ever had for the year was add maths since this subject is probably my weakest amongst all. Is it a sign? I don't know 0_0 I decided to go on the internet again and browsed through ISKL's website and berangan-angan, wondering what would my life be like if I actually had the oppurtunity to go there after exams. But either way, wherever I end up, I'll still be happy irregardless because I know Allah SWT  has plans for all of us and there's always good to come of it.
   It's still very surreal to me that 5 years has just gone by like that. I admit that I regret doing some things (that I'm not exactly proud of) and not taking up on wonderful opportunities that had been practically thrown in front of me.
   So the last day of school were filled with hugs and tears (but not from 5 science 1 though, because we're all super macho awesome bitches). We took pictures and salam all the teachers asking for their blessings, the usual final day stuff. A friend of mine and I were talking, we both came to the realisation that after that final period, we would no longer be sitting in a small classroom of 25 (where everybody knows everybody) doing whatever we did for the past 11 years in there. By next year, we would all be drowning in a giant lecture hall (of course this doesn't apply for everyone) filled with probably 50-100 other people. Of course we would still have friends but it just won't feel the same anymore. Sigh, what to do? It is life after all and just like the rest, I have to learn to adapt to new things. I'm actually looking forward to that! :3

Eyes on fire

Assalamualaikum and heyyoh!!!!
SPM's near.... what's new? I am currently looking forscholarship and bursaries for pre-u program and as you know from my previous entries, I am looking forward to doing IB but y'all know that shit ain't cheap. I've been doing this for the past three days now and I've never felt so emotionally broken in my entire life. My results for my trials have been pretty okay so far (let's hope this good fortune goes smooth till the end) but applying for IB's ain't easy. I'm not talking about just the scholarships, apparently to get into that program in general is hard as it is. Other than the obvious consistent academic achievement and outstanding results in SPM and trials there's also the involvement in co-curriculum, extra corriculum, community service and etc... oh, there's also personal statements and apparently an interview before being accepted into IB. Lord knows the last thing I'm capable of doing is being good at interviews. Seriously, I am a ticking time bomb at these things. You should've seen me during my E-club interview at school o_o. (I got accepted either way, but sadly....... there is no more E-club at school :( )  I'm also looking into other options like AUSMAT and A-levels but either way I'm still going through an emotional imbalance. I've been reconsidering to go into medicine because there's this great school in Serdang called Perdana University and they have a great relationship with John Hopkins School of Medicine and Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland. Those of whom are interested in continuing their studies in medicine know that these 2 places is where you want to be. :3 I'm getting good momentum in my studies but I swear my head is just gonna blow up!!! I've been getting mixed signals from my parents recently, especially my mum. She's been asking  me to relax (because I've been very tensed )and the next second she's telling me to go revise. It's been very dangerous being around her. She said she's been very stressed lately with work and the fact that my sister hasn't been giving any signs about her university applications for the US. So because of that, not only has she been giving me weird vibes, she also is trying to keep tabs on my grades and a bunch of other SPM-related things. So, that's it, I'm late for jogging now, phew... really happy got all that out now! Bye!

I don't wanna hold I want a chocolate fountain...

Assalamualaikum and hey again,
It's been a really since I made an entry again. I just finished my trials and I can tell you right now that it didn't go very well. It went well for certain subjects but the rest, not so much. There are at least 1 month left to the big day and as usual I ain't ready yet. But I'm not gonna rant about that today to avoid myself from getting too emotional. But I'm sure I'm going to have to talk with my parents soon because I'm sure there's going to be a parent-teacher day after this. Which reminds me, I have to return back my report card to my class teacher soon 0_0. I am just really tired lately and all I want right now is something from mcdonalds, like the spicy fried chicken or something. Yeah, I guess that's it, there isn't a lot of things I could talk about today except that.......

PROUDDUCK.com

This is one of those times where I wish had Vivy Yusof's life....... Gosh, she sure is lucky :D

My tears dry on their own

After weeks of not blogging I have decided to do another entry today because my body seems to not want me to take a nap....... But tadi masa physics  tuition it was just begging me to slump dead on the table. SO....... anyways, my adik from MRSM balik today..... nothing much. Ooohhh!!!! I was watching Mobbed on Star World today and I cried because it  was super emotional :( Basically this woman wanted to organise this flash mob for her dad who was a firefighter and had saved so many lives. At the same time, she decided to incorporate a second flash mob in that flash mob for both of her parents as a memorial for her deceased sister so it got really emotional and I cried o_o. After that I had physics tuition so you can probably understand why I got really sleepy afterwards..... LOL. In other news, my trials are next week and sadly this will be my only trials so I only get one shot at making an impression for my forecasts. I've made little progress but hey, little progress is better then no progress at all right? Tonight I'll most probably be doing sejarah exercises and some add maths(something tells me I might probably just end up asleep instead of doing all of this). My kakyang told me during her SPM days, she use to be really good in her add maths but apparently she struggled in modern maths. She told me she once had ring worm and got 1 week off from school. So the entire week she did add maths and eventually mastered it e_______e.....Man, I wish I had some mysterious sickness that allows me to take an entire week of school, but that won't probably happen 0_0 especially at a time like this... today's been a very random day.....

beauty in the world

Heyyoh!!!!! Assalamualaikum friends, how's you?
So basically I decided to blog today was so I could avoid doing sejarah homework and biology revision.... I'm suppose to have this bio mock trials this Wednesday and I'm suppose to study and all but I don't really want to. It turns out, I still have a lot of things I don't know in bio so I'm scared as fuck right now but since I'm so lazy I resort to doing nothing. As of today, there are only 63 days left to SPM. yeah, sssssooooooo....... I've been looking at colleges and pre-university programs to keep myself motivated and focused but I can't really decide. My number 1 choice is obviously International Baccalaureate because in my opinion, is probably the best pre-u program out there but I'm still open to other options nonetheless. I've heard from friends that although IB is extremely tough, it was still fun and they learned a lot from it. The down side of it is that this IB is damn expensive. I've checked for scholarship opportunities but based on my progress with my SPM revision, I don't think I'll be able to get it...... It's just that after 5 years in a private school,  It would be a really heavy burden for my parents to shed more money for my education.
 Back to the main topic, other then IB I have considered several other pre-u programs like STPM, AUSMAT and  even foundations (in science of course). I know what your thinking, STPM isn't really an attractive program especially when you have to go through another year of high school basically and you'll probably experience the same kind of stress and exhaustion from SPM. The only difference between SPM and STPM is  the latter is difficult as fuck. You can't even pass that shit..... Otherwise it still has the same format and you can probably find a butt load of tuition centers and revision books all over Malaysia. I think STPM (contrary to general opinion) is very good and will get me recognised in the top local universities and will eventually Insyaallah bring me to overseas! Besides, there are tons of people who took STPM and did very well later on!
Yup, I think its a good time for me to stop blogging now. Gotta catch up on some studying! :)

68 days to SPM!

As the title suggests, yes there is only 68 days left to the big day (9 more Mondays by the way) . I am stressed in every way but yet I seem to not do anything about it because well, I'm just a lazy motherf*cker. My trials are coming up real soon (19th September) and I haven't made any good progress since the last time I blogged. Jeez, I feel lazy now.................................... I need some motivation to keep going. Today Aqilah asked me if I had the opportunity to do anything I want after I finish my studies what would it be. One of them was to marry a very rich athlete and design handbags for a living but that was just one of the over the top fantasies I had which will probably not happen. To be pretty honest, I never really had a serious thought but if I were to answer properly, it would be something like this; I would be a qualified olympic archer with mad skills but at the same time a gifted writer who became part of Hasty Pudding Theatricals at Harvard (LOL). By then I would have been an incredibly fluent sign language user  but also incredibly proficient in mandarin and french (more LOLs). I would be traveling all over the world and meet all different kinds of people!
I have more fun stuff I would like to do but its too long to list out so I'll probably tell more sometime later. But for now I'll stop and continue doing my carbon compound revision.....

Pimple rage!!!!

To anyone whose reading this, do you know any good cleansers or facial products I can use to get rid of some mean acne? My face is raging with all sorts of lumps and bumps I can't stand it!!!!!! AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! PIMPLE RAGE!!!!!!!!!

Satu Hari Di Hari Raya

Assalamualaikum and hello again,
As all of you Malaysians know, it was Hari Raya on Sunday and so like any other malaysian, I balik kampung. Spent one day at PJ w/ my Uci and Tokbah (father's side) and spent the other 2 days w/ my Tok and Pah (mum's side) at Klang. But this Klang is like gila-gila kampung punya Klang, its like hidden from public eye..... So as you can see by now, I am a pure Selangor baby from the get go. My grandparents from Klang use to live in Taiping, Perak andI would go back once in a while but that was a lllllloooooooonnnnngggggg time ago. I was like 4 0_0. Anyway, I got back petang tadi and decided to go jogging again (yay!) but I took a little nap before that so by the time I woke up it was already seven so I couldn't go run for that long. We decided to go to sushi king for dinner since my maid is on her break and all of us are lazy to clean up after ourselves at home. My parents were looking at kitchen and car appliances for some reason and my adik-beradik wanted to go to IT world (we went to Subang Parade) to look at the phones. I opted to go with my parents to look at appliances because well, I'm an old lady at heart :) I can thank my Pah for that:3 I don't know, I always enjoy looking at plates and toasters and imagine what my life would be like once I get married. I'm so weird, I have even mastered the whole couponing skill because of this.
So now its back to reality and I have to catch up with my studies even though I don't really feel like it. I also need to lose all this raya weight and change my eating habits.....................................................................NOPE, not gonna change it, still gonna eat like a monster:) But I still have to do something about my face though, pimples are popping everywhere!

I told you so....

Assalamualaikum and hello friends!
  I can't believe Ramadhan is almost ending! Can you? (LOL, like as if anyone reads this blog) Another year is going very soon and it scares me. As you all know, I am in my SPM year and right after that I enter into adulthood where I'm going to have to make important decisions on where I want to be in life. I haven't really decided on what I want to do yet so I hope that Allah SWT gives me enough time to think about it. For now I was thinking of venturing into something that's physics and biology related because sadly, I'm not that good in chemistry:P I'm not saying that I don't like the subject though, its just that it is probably better if I do something that I already have a solid understanding for, but hey, who knows right? So, as of this moment the only thing that I could find that's related to those 2 subjects is medical imaging&radiotherapy. Yes, I must admit it sounds slightly dull but I won't know until I give it a try....... I initially had plans to go into medicine but after some heavy researching and opinion considerations, Malaysia may already have enough doctors and med students for the time being. I also thought of majoring in English so I could pursue writing but it isn't exactly a very steady career. Don't get me wrong, I think being a writer is a great career to have but its just that I don't think I'll be able to commit myself to it full time, plus I don't think I have enough creative chops for it. At one point, I also had dreams of becoming an actress and pursue the stage but I guess it sort of died......Wooh! So much negativity and pessimism already! Regardless, I just hope that whatever I end up doing after this, I'll still be happy in the end :)

Cheese puffs and detox foot pads...

Assalamualaikum and hello again to people who are reading this (probably no one),
  So today at school we were suppose to move the top floor into our new class but apparently the new tables and chairs haven't arrived yet so we remained in the old class for now. To be quite honest, I'm not really looking forward to moving into a new class because well as I've told you before, this class is at the highest floor of the school and sadly, Sapura Smart School is a tall ass building. I am not looking forward to going up 3 flight of steep stairs every morning with my heavy bag in tow, I can't even go up the first floor without losing my breath :p. That statement just probably showed how unhealthy I am as a human being......
 Other news, the school also had the annual Majlis Buka Puasa celebration which was pretty nice. We did the usual:
-Buka Puasa
-Solat maghrib
-Makan lagi
-Solat isyak
-Solat hajat
-and lastly..... Solat terawih!
I didn't do much except for of course the praying and the eating. I hanged around with my friends the entire time, well maybe not the entire time since my parents came along........ After all that, I went home switched to my baju tidur  and had cheetos curl puffs (you see how fat I really am?) and some chewing gum.... Yup, that's about it. I don't even know why you're reading this, my life ain't entertaining enough for this kind of sh*t!
P.S
apparently according to one of my dad's architect friend he bumped into at the majlis just now, Sapura might permanently switch into an international school if the programme becomes successful in the next few years....:(

Kotak ais

Assalamualaikum and hello again.....
 Yeah, so basically nothing much happened in school today. We had 5 free periods and time went ridiculously slow. Should've stayed at home, DANG! So after like a good half an hour of add maths during my free time at school I decided to hang out with my friends in an empty classroom and we all just chatted sampai 3:30. I know, time well spent right? We talked about a lot of things just to pass the time and soon enough it was already time to go home. Apparently now all the secondary students have to clear their lockers and move into new classrooms so we could make way for the primary kids since  the primary building will be used by the international school kids really soon. So this means the secondary school people have to move a few floors up...... yeah, I'm probably gonna die going up the stairs every morning now...... 0_0 I'm currently in the midst of re-downloading my itunes because my last itunes was wiped out when papa went to go get the computer fixed. I just really hope that it doesn't really slow the laptop down since there are also a bunch of other files that the previous owner didn't delete out.Wish me luck!

90 days to SPM...... oh god, why?

 Assalamualaikum and hello to all of you who are reading this blog,
I have made a decision to start blogging again as I realised this is probably the only outlet I have. So as you can tell by the title, there are only 90 days left until the big day and apparently I'm not doing anything about it. Entahlah, eversince I entered form 4, I've been slacking a lot lately mainly because I got fed up of studying right after PMR (which I got 7A's *boast much) and I just got really lazy I guess. Maybe the reason I've always been this way was because I always thought I would have a plan either way. This is one of the setbacks of being a private school student (not saying there's anything wrong with them). Money or no money, I've always thought that my parents already have a financial safe keep for me and my siblings just in case we weren't able to do well enough for our exams. Sadly, this has become part of my sub-conscious mentality for the past one year, 7 months and 6 days, it's like I'm not sure to either worry about it or not. You see, I always had these anxiety issues that I seem to always enjoy over complicating, so this year, since it is my SPM year, I have been attempting to simplify this issue because well, there's really nothing complicated about it. Well, there's nothing much I can say anymore for the day except that I am currently typing this entry out on my very own laptop that my loving dad has decided to purchase (or take) it as a secondhand from one of his office buddies so I would like to take this opportunity to thank papa for being such a wonderful father and to Uncle Loo, the previous owner of this laptop who was willing to pass this precious device to such an incompetent person :}