Hello there whoever's reading this blog (probably Aqilah)! Before I start off the blog I would just like to say that you're genuinely a wonderful human being and I feel that you're really valuable in this great big world of ours :D
Good, now that I've gotten that out of the way, I would like to tell you what's been bugging my mind like since 20 minutes ago. So let me set the (very simple) backdrop, I had someone to sign my yearbook and (s)he left me a message that said; " Everything you are striving for is already inside you, all you need to do is tap into it". I mean, (s)he wrote more than that but that's mainly the part of the message I wanted to talk about. This pretty much scared me a little because it's as if this person's already pretty much got me figured out. Don't get me wrong, I know this person meant well. The reason why the message bothers me slightly is because in all honesty, I'm seriously not sure what I'm actually striving for. I mean, I don't have any sort of desires or passions to pursue a specific career or achieve something. For those who know me would know that I've said psychology as a desired career choice but I'm only saying this to lessen the worries of those I'm close to and sadly to myself. So, to be quite honest, I really don't know what I want to do in life. The only reason I've said psychology is because I'm good at it. It won't necessarily be sufficient to fuel a career out of it. I can't help myself but always wonder if someday I would end up regretting my decision to go into a particular career path. I've always wondered if all the compromises I made for myself would finally catch up to me and I find myself in a worse personal crisis then I was in before.
I've seen many people who had and are currently experiencing this and it always saddens me. Especially to those who have compromised so much for my sake. It is indeed true that by living life, it comes with sacrifices that we don't necessarily want to make and I accept that wholeheartedly. But I can't help but wonder what comes after those sacrifices? How does it make us feel afterwards? Which is why I've concluded that regardless of whatever I end up doing in life, I pray that I'll be satisfied and happy in the end. Although it's going to be difficult to accept it at times, I will not let my career or worldly success define me. I need to acknowledge that! In fact, everyone needs to acknowledge that! I've seen many people,in particular women who let their careers and financial success defines them as a person. Some even let marriages define them as a person too! So for all of you career women, wives,sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers, ibu's, maklongs, makngahs etc. Know that your true worth is not on your materialistic success, your appearance or even your relationship status! It depends upon the way you value the experiences you are given but at the same time don't simply accept the cards that you were dealt. Make the best of it.
aida
P.S
Wow, how did this turn into a motivation post so fast ~.~
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Dance In The Graveyard
Good morning and happy Friday!
I have about an hour until I have to get ready for school so I thought might as well start blogging a little bit after so long.
May would be my last month of learning at CPU and in June I go into my Finals, then graduate. Time has gone by so fast this past year and I can't believe that I'll be starting actual university soon! I'm not planning to overseas in order to loosen my parents' burden a little (but only by a ver small margin) and decided to do my degree locally. I had intentions on going to a national university (USM, UM, UKM etc.) but I decided against it since I really didn't have the desire to do the kind of degree I planned for if I ever ended up going there (*audiology).
I'm actually not ready to leave Pre-U yet mainly because I just have no idea where to go.... I do express some regret over not applying to a university overseas but I really think that right now is not a good time to do that (or maybe it's just my subconscious desire to ever not leave home???). Another reason why I'm not ready to leave yet is because I'm having such a wonderful time at CPU, I just think that 1 year is not enough. So I advise you future CPU students to take more then 2 semesters if possible. Despite having sent much longer time in primary and secondary school, I can't help but think that out of all my recent education experience, I'll be cherishing this one the most. Teachers here are so wonderful and different and students in general are more respectable and tolerable to each other. Although the assignments here are significantly heavier, it is greatly appreciated and all of my handwork going into it actually has some proper value for once. I know that I won't have an educational experience as good as this for at least the next 3 years of my life, but I hope I would be proven wrong. Which is why I'm having such a difficult time choosing the right university at the time being. Apart from that, I have a lot of other rings to consider like tuition fees and if I should stay at a dorm and if I should consider doing a twinning programme and etc.
But regardless, I generally just hope that I would end up happy in life despite of the amount of money I end up making. I don't mind if I end up married (with kids or no kids) or if I end up alone. I just want to be satisfied with all that I have and truly cherish it. I guess that was the main thing I learned being at CPU and I thank Allah SWT everyday that I did. :)
Aida
I have about an hour until I have to get ready for school so I thought might as well start blogging a little bit after so long.
May would be my last month of learning at CPU and in June I go into my Finals, then graduate. Time has gone by so fast this past year and I can't believe that I'll be starting actual university soon! I'm not planning to overseas in order to loosen my parents' burden a little (but only by a ver small margin) and decided to do my degree locally. I had intentions on going to a national university (USM, UM, UKM etc.) but I decided against it since I really didn't have the desire to do the kind of degree I planned for if I ever ended up going there (*audiology).
I'm actually not ready to leave Pre-U yet mainly because I just have no idea where to go.... I do express some regret over not applying to a university overseas but I really think that right now is not a good time to do that (or maybe it's just my subconscious desire to ever not leave home???). Another reason why I'm not ready to leave yet is because I'm having such a wonderful time at CPU, I just think that 1 year is not enough. So I advise you future CPU students to take more then 2 semesters if possible. Despite having sent much longer time in primary and secondary school, I can't help but think that out of all my recent education experience, I'll be cherishing this one the most. Teachers here are so wonderful and different and students in general are more respectable and tolerable to each other. Although the assignments here are significantly heavier, it is greatly appreciated and all of my handwork going into it actually has some proper value for once. I know that I won't have an educational experience as good as this for at least the next 3 years of my life, but I hope I would be proven wrong. Which is why I'm having such a difficult time choosing the right university at the time being. Apart from that, I have a lot of other rings to consider like tuition fees and if I should stay at a dorm and if I should consider doing a twinning programme and etc.
But regardless, I generally just hope that I would end up happy in life despite of the amount of money I end up making. I don't mind if I end up married (with kids or no kids) or if I end up alone. I just want to be satisfied with all that I have and truly cherish it. I guess that was the main thing I learned being at CPU and I thank Allah SWT everyday that I did. :)
Aida
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