So I'm full speed ahead with college and all that hoo ha. I'm already in my 3rd week (I think) and everything's still pretty alright (I hope). Although I feel I'm pretty behind right now especially in calculus and vectors. Probably because my teacher's confusing the hell out of me but I just don't have the guts to admit it. But he says vectors itself is pretty confusing in itself so I guess it's okay.
To be quite honest with you I'm not really looking forward to this semester since I already have good knowledge of all the heavy work and late nights I got myself into last semester. Furthermore, I have yet to start on any form of community service so I have a lot coming ahead. Oh I also have to take the Ontario Secondary School Literacy Test this March so......... (*proceeds to tear pieces of hair out). I mean there's an overwhelming amount of work coming and I feel extremely scared. My social science teacher told me this semester is going to be the shortest CPU sem on record and we're in shit loads of trouble because we have to get a master's degree size thesis done in about 5 months............................. Like shit man! Those things are suppose to be a one year thing, regardless if you have a partner or not. So let me correct myself, college right now is NOT "pretty alright". It's very scary and stressful and I couldn't be more than happier that there's a long Chinese new year holiday starting from tomorrow. But at the same time I dread that there's such a long holiday because then I'll start slacking about and there won't be a lot of progress with my school work. I'm sure people are gonna say that I should try to organise my time and all but that's the thing. I don't have the will power to do that!!! Ugh, lazy middle class student dilemma!!!! But seriously, even when I plan something there's always some mysterious surprise thing I have to do at the very last minute. I'm also not that good in prioritising.
But ultimately I'm just scared that I won't be able to perform as well as I did last semester:
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I'm pretty proud of myself at doing incredibly well but now comes that fear of not being able to perform up to par as last semester. Especially since math ain't as easy as it was last semester. To be quite honest, the only thing I continuously had trouble with last semester was chemistry...... I know it seems slightly ridiculous for worrying about everything while only at the third week of school but with graduation coming in June, I don't really have a choice. I don't know, I'm doing my best to commit to my prayers but again, my laziness always gets the better of me. I just hope honest to god that I won't lose my shit in the middle of the semester and mess up because it would be really nice to graduate this semester and not having to extend to a third semester. So with that I leave you with this hipster-esque photo of my phone and my new macbook (for which I am extremely thankful for).
thanks for listening :)
