Eyes on fire

Assalamualaikum and heyyoh!!!!
SPM's near.... what's new? I am currently looking forscholarship and bursaries for pre-u program and as you know from my previous entries, I am looking forward to doing IB but y'all know that shit ain't cheap. I've been doing this for the past three days now and I've never felt so emotionally broken in my entire life. My results for my trials have been pretty okay so far (let's hope this good fortune goes smooth till the end) but applying for IB's ain't easy. I'm not talking about just the scholarships, apparently to get into that program in general is hard as it is. Other than the obvious consistent academic achievement and outstanding results in SPM and trials there's also the involvement in co-curriculum, extra corriculum, community service and etc... oh, there's also personal statements and apparently an interview before being accepted into IB. Lord knows the last thing I'm capable of doing is being good at interviews. Seriously, I am a ticking time bomb at these things. You should've seen me during my E-club interview at school o_o. (I got accepted either way, but sadly....... there is no more E-club at school :( )  I'm also looking into other options like AUSMAT and A-levels but either way I'm still going through an emotional imbalance. I've been reconsidering to go into medicine because there's this great school in Serdang called Perdana University and they have a great relationship with John Hopkins School of Medicine and Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland. Those of whom are interested in continuing their studies in medicine know that these 2 places is where you want to be. :3 I'm getting good momentum in my studies but I swear my head is just gonna blow up!!! I've been getting mixed signals from my parents recently, especially my mum. She's been asking  me to relax (because I've been very tensed )and the next second she's telling me to go revise. It's been very dangerous being around her. She said she's been very stressed lately with work and the fact that my sister hasn't been giving any signs about her university applications for the US. So because of that, not only has she been giving me weird vibes, she also is trying to keep tabs on my grades and a bunch of other SPM-related things. So, that's it, I'm late for jogging now, phew... really happy got all that out now! Bye!